


no gentle rain, but thunder

by aformofmotion



Series: lest your skin give you away [2]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Experimental Style, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:06:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7174886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aformofmotion/pseuds/aformofmotion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skintouch love means you don't have to talk about it, but sometimes that isn't a good thing.</p>
<p>A not!soulmates AU where people can feel love through their skin. Written in tumblrfic style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no gentle rain, but thunder

**Author's Note:**

> “It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.”  
> ~Frederick Douglass

the kingsman all wear gloves, every one of them. they're very nice gloves, tailored like everything else, sleek and elegant and in a surprising variety of colours, bulletproof and designed to work on touch screen technology. they're lovely, and eggsy hates them with a passion. he understands why they exist, ordinary posh folk wear gloves in public because it's "uncouth" to accidentally discover or give away love their your hands, and it has to be even more dangerous for spies. it's the opposite in the estates, skintouch love was real and obvious and could be dealt with before it festered, and other than during their training eggsy refuses to wear the pair he's issued, it's unnatual, hiding like that. he convinces roxy to take hers off a few times when it's just them, and otherwise he doesn't see a single flesh-and-blood hand the entire time he's at the manor. 

harry doesn't take his gloves off during the twenty-four hours they spend at his house, they weren't off the entire time eggsy sat by his bedside after professor arnold's head exploded all over him, eggsy's never even _seen_ his real hands and he tries not to think about it much. harry's not just _a_ kingsman, as far as eggsy's concerned he's the _epitome_ of kingsman, and after he dies eggsy puts on his gloves and doesn't take them off again, there's nothing to hide or at least no one to hide it from. he still hates them, but he wears them because the kingsman do, because harry wanted him to be a kingsman and went to his grave thinking he wouldn't be, and the look roxy gives him the first time she sees him wearing the gloves off-mission -- soft and sad and just barely the right side of sympathetic -- never goes away, not even after they find harry alive.

it's very familiar, sitting by harry's bedside and hoping he'll wake up, only this time eggsy's wearing gloves and harry isn't and eggsy tries not to stare at his hand, he does, even manages it for a little while before giving in to temptation. he feels like some kind of pervert, like them victorian blokes who used to get off on ladies ankles, but it ain't like that, all right? it's just harry, and eggsy's always wanted more of him than he's allowed. harry doesn't wake up for almost six months, longer than the last time, and unless he's on a mission eggsy is there every day until the nurses kick him out and sometimes they don't, sometimes they just let him stay and fall asleep in the chair beside harry's bed, head pillowed on his arms against the side of the shockingly comfortable hospital matress, and then one day he wakes up like that, only harry's hand isn't laying loose by his side, it's in eggsy's hair, an insistant weight demanding his attention and eggsy sits up quickly enough that he forgets to be careful and when harry's hand dislodges it brushes the side of his face and eggsy refuses to think about what that fucking electric tingle means, he doesn't have _time_ for what it means, and he looks up at harry's eyes blinking open and mumbles something he hopes is reassuring and runs off to get the nurse

it's only after harry is in recovery that he lets himself think about it, the fact that harry loves him  back and more importantly the fact that harry didn't want him to know it, and it makes sense, really, you can love someone to hell and back and still not want to do anything about it, and eggsy can think of all sorts of reasons harry wouldn't want to be with him starting with the age difference and ending somewhere around how very posh eggsy _isn't_ , and just cos none of that shit matters to eggsy doesn't mean it doesn't matter to harry, he gets it, he just wishes he hadn't found out is all, and he tells roxy about it while getting spectacularly drunk and she asks him what he's gonna do and he shrugs and declares 'he didn't want me to know, so i ain't gonna know' and roxy gives him _the_ most doubtful look in her repertoire, but eggsy does fine

or at least he does for a while, at first, while harry's still in hospital, but after he's reinstated, after he's coronated as arthur, yeah, it's difficult and eggsy's not proud of it but it's easier when harry's not around so he volunteers for extra missions and makes excuses not to hang around HQ, he owes daisy something grand for her birthday the number of times he uses her to dodge an invitation and roxy is entirely unimpressed with him, he can tell, but she doesn't call him out and she doesn't _sell_ him out and eggsy's doing just fine, thanks, and then harry asks him to stay for a minutes after a meeting and he knows he's reached the end of the line.

harry says "you've been avoiding me" and for a minute eggsy teeters on the brink of denying it, shrugging it off and getting on with his day, and he thinks harry would let him and can't bring himself to do it so he shrugs like "maybe" and harry says "will you tell me why?" and eggsy thinks harry would let him refuse so he squares up his shoulders and looks him in the eye like "you touched my skin when you woke up from not being dead" and harry looks taken aback, like that isn't at all what he was expecting, before he composes himself like "i apologise if my affection makes you uncomfortable-" "don't be stupid" eggsy rolls his eyes "i been gone on you from day one, it ain't about that" and he drops his eyes, doesn't dare look at the reaction he's garnered like "but i know you didn't want me to know and there's all sorts 'a good reasons why not an' i ain't gonna impose so i been tryin' to pretend like i never felt it, only it's harder when you're there to remind me all the time" and the last bit ends up muffled against harry's chest and he tenses up, fight or flight kicking in before he can help himself, and then forces himself to relax and let himself be held and harry is quiet for so long that eggsy starts to think this is all the response he's going to get, but eventually he says "i never intended to keep it from you indefinitely. you were my candidate, eggsy. as your mentor, you must understand how inappropriate it would have been at the time. once you became a kingsman, i would have told you, of course, except-" "'cept i failed the dog test" "yes" and eggsy sighs heavily like "an' now you's arthur, an' it's still 'inappropriate'" "yes" harry says tightening his hold on eggsy like "but i find i care significantly less" and eggsy looks up at him hopefully like "yeah?" and harry takes a step back and just _looks_ at him and eggsy swallows like "so what now?" and harry says " _now_ , i believe, i'd like you to take those dreadful gloves off. please" he adds when eggsy doesn't do more than stare at him and eggsy jumps and hurries to comply, peeling them off quickly and shoving them into his pocket inside out and harry says "that is not the proper way to remove a tailored glove" primly and clearly amused and eggsy gives him a cheeky grin and says "so show me" and then nearly immediately regrets it when harry says "all right" and makes a near pornographic show of tugging his own gloves off one finger at a time and eggsy stops breathing for a minute and then exhales "oh fuck _me_ " and harry says "not at the office, dear" and eggsy _means_ to say something snarky in response but harry reaches over and twines their fingers together and it's all he can do to keep from going cross-eyed, he can feel it everywhere their skin touches like static on the surface, all the heat of the sun pouring into his bones, and he distantly hears harry's appreciative sigh and tries to shake himself out of his stupor and harry lets go of one of his hands to tip his chin up and he blinks at him dazedly and tries for a smile like "tha's beautiful" and he knows it comes out slurred but harry just nods and hums in agreement and he thinks harry's going to kiss him cos it would make _sense_ for harry to kiss him but instead harry pulls away and eggsy whines embarrassingly like "why-" and harry says "unfortunately, i have a meeting with the british prime minister in about five minutes time, but if you don't mind the wait i'd very much like to take you home" "okay" eggsy says almost before he's finished speaking, walking backwards toward the door separating harry's office from the round table like "I'm gonna take a nap in one a' them comfy chairs and you come get me when you're done, yeah?" and harry nods his agreement and eggsy goes before he can push his luck and as soon as the door shuts behind him and he can feel the stupid grin splitting his face and he knows he's not going to be able to nap through the anticipation so he sinks into the comfy chair and texts roxy lots of explanation points instead


End file.
